Why I cant be vegan

I'm not sure why I'm writing this, but for some reason I feel like I always have to explain my food eating habits.

So I am trying to reduce my footprint on this earth, reducing my plastic consumption, trying to fix or mend things that I would have in the past just thrown away, I started a compost and we have reduced our outgoing landfill waste to a quarter full bin every 6 weeks or so.

I am in a zero waste group and it has been put to me and many others that the only way to actually save the planet is to become vegan.

Honestly, so many times a post is put up along the lines of "Who has tips on buying meat and bringing their own containers?" or "what do you do with meat bones if you only put your bin out every 4 weeks or so", and at least 3 of the following 10 comments is... "just don't buy meat, meat is not waste free!"... It is literally the most frustrating response!

Move on vegans, I get it, you don't eat meat. Your comment does not actually address the question.

I can tell that someone is a opinionated vegan... because they will tell me all about it, and let me know how I can "CURE" my irritable bowl by going vegan... by eating lots of fruit and vegetables...

What? you mean the same fruit and vegetables that cause my irritable bowel in the first place? Well holy shit vegan you must be onto something! I'll go and let my neighbour know he can cure his diabetes with sugar too! hallelujah! The problem food is now the solution! I'll let the internet know!

I say "opinionated vegan", because there are normal vegans out there that just do their thing and just eat the food that they choose and their diet might come up in conversation but they aren't a dick about it.

I love these Vegans (with a capital V lol), I have Vegan friends, so I hope that the good Vegans get past the first sentence and read this part.

I am also mindful of what I would talk about, and would not talk about a steak if I knew that would gross them out, although there was that time I sent a request to my vegetarian friend to like a meat company's Facebook page by mistake... oh how we laughed... she still brings it up every time I see her though lol.

So why cant I go vegan?

Because I don't want to...

Its not because I am the most carnivorous person in the world.

I'ts not because I hate Vegans.

Its not because vegetables are lame.

It's not because cheese is the most delicious thing in the world and I would literally be lost without it (I lie... I actually would be lol).

Its because my body for some reason has issues with the sugars in food... the sugar in milk, the sugar in wheat, the sugar in vegetables, legumes and fruit.

Its annoying.

I live on rice, nuts, certain vegetables, eggs, cheese, yogurt and meat pretty much.

So the short story is that I don't know what the hell I would eat.

I ate a pear in January 2013... It was a disaster! I shat out of both arseholes for days!... I say both arseholes because I felt as though another one formed on that bum wees journey of 2013.

I know I can eat 4 button mushrooms but if I push it past 5.. I'm playing with fire.

Do you know what I would LOVE to eat... Lentils, Mushrooms, a nectarine... it would be my absolute dream.

My diet isn't meat heavy, I have a lot of salads, green veges and healthy snacks. I don't drink much because wine contains fructose. I know where most of my red meat comes from because we buy it direct from the farm (we buy online from Homegrown Farm fresh meats).

I also have been getting meat from the local butcher and taking in my reusable containers to fill.

We buy our eggs free range.

I live in merino.

I love honey as a sweetener.

So please, opinionated vegan, please know I love you, but you need to shush...

Because a quiet opinionated vegan is a good opinionated vegan.

x

PS: I literally just wrote this blog so that every time someone told me that the only way to save the earth was to go vegan, I could just give them a link to this blog to save time lol